Free speech or speech that is freeing?

Out of the mouth of Babes

   What did you just say?! This question is usually met with big doe eyes and trembling lips as the child scrambles to remember what offensive word just came out of his mouth. Every mother in the history of time has probably asked their child this question at least once. Whether it's a result of that infamous rhyming game, or repeating something they heard from T.V. or a family member, the result is the same, shock and embarrassment. This is usually followed up with a screeching admonishment in a voice thats a whole octave higher than normal, a bar of soap and a lonely stay in your bedroom. (That is if you grew up in my house.) Yes, I can testify that one soap does not taste any better than another and that soapy taste lasts for hours.

   When  I think about my panic over certain "bad" words I wonder why I am not as cautious about the words I speak everyday. Why does it feel uncomfortable to speak positive  or encouraging words? Criticizing and complaining seems to become the accepted norm and negative outlooks cloud my expectations.

   Proverbs 21:23 says, " Watching what you say can save you a lot of trouble." (CEV)

    When I read this verse I think "well that's a no brainer" but putting it into practice is a little harder. We live in a pretty negative world and we are constantly being fed scary and depressing news. Negative speaking is an easy pit to fall into, climbing out of that pit can be a hard and tiresome task. Phrases like "This is killing me," "everything bad always happens to me." and "I'm broke." can send me into a negative spiral. Why is Monday any worse than the other days of the week and don't even get me started on Murphy's Law, he must have been a barrel of laughs to be around.

Psalm 141:3 says, "Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips."

   This is my prayer, some days I pray it more than others, I recognize that I can't do it on my own and a guard or reminder sounds good to me.

It's not that I go around only speaking words of wisdom and quoting scripture but by choosing my topics wisely and using scripture as my guide, I can have a positive conversation that I'm not going to worry about later. Who knows, maybe I made someone else's day better too. 

Get used to it, this is where I belong.

What’s my purpose?

  What's my purpose in this world? Have you ever asked yourself this question? I have asked it many times. I have mulled this over in my mind trying to come up with some amazing answer only to feel a bit disappointed with my lack luster, ordinary life.

   I think we all may feel this way from time to time, not measuring up, constantly in competition to be recognized or appreciated. There always seems to be someone that out performs, out thinks, out wits or out shines us. I used to think if I were born in a different time things might be different, at least I wouldn't feel so inadequate in this micro wave, technological, beauty conscious world. Of course the thought of no makeup, no hair products and having babies at home slaps me right back to the happy present.

Acts 17:26-28 says, “And He made from one, (common origin, one source and one blood) all nations of men to settle on the face of the earth, having definitely determined their allotted periods of time and the fixed boundaries of their habitation. So that they should seek God in the hope that they might feel Him and find Him, although He is not far from each of us. For in Him we live, and move and have our being; as even some of your own poets have said, for we are also His offspring.”

   When I finally accepted the truth that I was made for this time and for the sole purpose of seeking and enjoying him, it made life seem a little easier. It’s not that I don’t look to improve myself or reach higher goals; I just can’t let the world’s standards decide how important I am.

   As I seek him I change for the better. As I change I make a difference in my world by simply touching those around me with his love. Isn't that what we all want anyway, to feel like we are making a difference and are loved?

 

I am sure I could manage this, possibly.

The steel wool affect

I want to be Steel Wool

    Have you ever felt like a weakling or a failure when it comes to communication or confrontation?

I have to admit that I am somewhat of a softy and I have to fight the urge to tuck my tail and run in the opposite direction when I must face opposition.  I have a friend who told me once that I was like a cotton ball; she has even called me cotton a few times. I know that what she was saying about me was not meant to be negative but there is the feeling of inadequacy that comes with being a cotton ball.        When you are soft as cotton, people tend  to not take you serious, you end up doing things you really don't want to and people walk all over you. When you are soft as cotton people also feel like they have to "tippy toe" around you so they don't  hurt your feelings, I hate that!
    On the other hand being known as harsh and unapproachable has its drawbacks too. I would hate to be the one that makes people duck into empty rooms when they see me coming, I have no desire to cause people to feel like they must always be on their guard with me.
    Somewhere in the middle is the answer, Somewhere between cotton and metal scraper is the perfect mix of strength and gentleness, grit and compassion. Somewhere between cotton and metal scraper is the steel wool pad, soft yet strong.

When we read Colossians 3 the instructions are clear; clothe yourself in compassion, kindness, humility and patience. We have to choose to put these on, most times it does not come natural. It takes a little compassion and patience to “bear with” someone, and kindness and humility is definitely involved when it comes to forgiveness.
   I decided I would rather be compared to steel wool; it’s soft yet durable, it’s gentle yet scrubs away the toughest baked on gunk and leaves the pan shining, it’s great at gently sanding away little wood burs and you are left with a beautiful smooth surface.

   Endeavoring to see people as Jesus does really helps. Jesus is always kind and gentle, he always shows us compassion and patience and I am so thankful for that. Using these verses in Colossians as a guide to communication and interaction with others is more than just a good idea, its a template for successful relationships and change.

Colossians 3:12, 13, 17

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And whatever you do whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Pepperspray Expectations

    Expectations and disappointments

   Caution: "May have no affect on those under the influence of drugs or alcohol."

These were the words written in bold print on the instructions of my new pepper spray gun. Wait a minute, weren't these the kind of people that I was protecting myself against? I almost expected the next lines to read, " This device is sold  for the sole purpose of making you feel better and may be affective on affectionate dogs or the occasional fellow walker." 

   Boy was I disappointed! I had hoped when I bought this device that it would empower me to leave  vicious perpetrators, human or animal, incapacitated long enough for this slow runner to make a hasty retreat. 

     We are met with multiple disappointments every day. Whether it was a plan that fell through or someone didn't do what they said they would, when our expectations aren't met we can feel frustrated and lose faith in our values and people.

   

   2 Timothy 3:10,11 " You however know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith,patience, love, endurance, persecutions, sufferings- what kind of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium, and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. yet the Lord rescued me from all of them." 

   I wonder if Paul's plan for his life included  lengthy stays at the local prison? I'm sure that during all his schooling and training; preaching to Gentiles, being beaten and thrown in prison was not on his list of things to do. I imagine there were times Paul was disappointed in the outcome of circumstances or the actions of people around him.
Through it all he was able to minister to thousands and bring the love of God and the good news of Jesus to the Gentiles.
 What was Paul's secret? Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do everything through him who gives me the strength."
    In the margin of my Bible I wrote, " Attitude determines altitude." Disappointment is part of life, how we deal with it can be a  sign of maturity and character. I believe Paul's decision to allow God to work in him and others made him approachable and successful in all he did.
 
   Are you wondering what I did with my pepper spray gun? I decided to keep it. It does make me feel  little more confident when I walk alone and it just happens to be one of my favorite colors, cobalt blue.

   

Some people leave a bigger whole when gone.

A True "Man of Steel (wool)"

   Have you ever known someone that will forever bring a smile to your face when you think of them? That person for me was my dear friend Dick. He was not a man of few words, in fact he was like a walking Thesaurus  and I would often walk away, scratching my head, knowing I would have to look a few of those words up. 

   Like steel wool, he was an ideal mixture of strength and gentle compassion. Family, common sense and hard work defined  his life but he was as soft as cotton when it came to helping others.  When I remember my friend, it will be for his no nonsense approach to life, his love of  fun and his booming laugh, his deep compassion and generosity for others, and his unwavering commitment to his family and God. We all love you Dick and your absence will be greatly felt "perpetually, interminably, infinitely, enduringly, unchangingly, for good, for keeps, for always and till hell freezes over (hey it was in the thesaurus)."

This is one of my favorites

Trouble can be like spider webs...

Mouth Full of Spiders

There is nothing like a spider to get me moving and make me look like a crazy woman spinning out of control. I know they have a purpose in this world but I want nothing to do with them. I've had a few undesirable run-ins with those horrible hairy creatures over the years and would prefer they keep their distance.

 I once had one flicked at me by someone who thought they were being funny only to discover minutes later that it went right into my mouth! Spiders taste horrible by the way. I also had one run from the front of my bathrobe straight into my mouth! I felt the hair of his creepy little legs on my tongue and I quickly spit him across the room. I breathed one up my nose when I was at work and he bit me that was embarrassing to say the least. My nose and eyes watered so much that my mascara made me look like someone from an eighties Goth band. I have done the “spider web dance” a number of times. You know, screaming, twirling, arms flailing till you think it’s all gone only to find the spider in your hair minutes later. It’s just embarrassing.

Spiders are like those annoying trials that come into our lives. We are just living life, minding our own business and –Bam- suddenly we've walked into a web of troubles.

We all endure temptations and trials. There are no lucky ones that get to live life carefree or without struggles. Even Jesus had troubles but knew his Father was with him.

John 16:33 says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

 Thankfully, we can have peace even in the midst of great trials. We can rest and be assured that God will not let you be tempted too much and promises a way to escape. Sometimes things don’t happen the way we want them to. The situation may feel all consuming but God is faithful and loving and he always provides a way of escape.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says,  “You are tempted in the same way that everyone else is tempted. But God can be trusted not to let you be tempted too much, and He will show you how to escape from your temptations.”

You are never too lost to get back on track.

Walking in the right direction

      Distractions are just a part of life, keeping focused on the right path is not always as easy as it seems.

The first time my son borrowed my car he had his whole trip planned out except the directions. When he went to his dad for those directions I knew it was not going to end well. My husband is a very detailed person, Doug is not. I watched as half way through the conversation, Doug’s eyes glazed over and the distant look of a coma fell on his face.

Doug and I share the same outlook on life; it’s called KISS or Keep It Simple Silly. I once asked my husband for directions to a nearby city and his reply started with, “Have you ever noticed the plume of smoke in the north westerly direction?” I had to stop him in mid-sentence, “Wait, who do you think I am, Geronimo?” I asked. I’m not even sure which way North West is and he wants me to notice a plume of smoke? Who talks like that anyway?

 Doug left the house scratching his head and about an hour and a half later we got the phone call, he was lost. Not only was he lost but he was in an entirely different state. I took over the phone and told him to turn on the GPS. You can’t get any simpler than that. Later I asked him why he didn’t use the GPS in the first place and he said he turned it off because he didn’t think he needed it. 

 It is so easy in life to get off track and get out of God’s will. God has given us His own GPS, it is His word, and it’s simple and straight forward.

Psalm 119:105 and 133 says, “Direct my footsteps according to your word, let no sin rule over me.” And “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

I thank God for his love, mercy and grace. He is always there to get me back on track. I later asked my son where he thought he went wrong, he said it was when he stopped listening to the instructions and turned off the GPS. Hmmm, that is a great lesson to remember.

 Proverbs 16:3, 9

  Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.