I've always heard how wonderful and relaxing pedicures are and I've seen pictures of women and even children relaxing in a big comfy massage chair. They were being pampered by little women with strong hands and the ability to take what is usually the ugliest and the hardest working part of our body and transform it magically into something beautiful.
When I met one of my best girlfriends at the nail salon I thought this was going to be one of my most relaxing experiences and we would get caught up on what we had been doing with our lives . I learned quickly that I needed to pay attention and a quick pat on my leg meant either of the following; put your foot in the water, take your foot out of the water, hold your foot still because I am going to take these sharp ended pliers and cram them so far down your big toe I may actually touch the bone! I think I may have left indents in the arm of that big comfy chair and though I am not one to use expletives I guarantee you,they were flying through my mind at that point.
The next step horrified me even before she started it. I have never been one to use an emery board, they just give me the heebie jeebies, like finger nails on a chalk board. When she pulled one out the size of a small surf board I knew I was doomed. Having my toenails filed is a sensation I hope to never feel again. Please do not tell me any secrets because all I will need is to see an emery board coming at my toes and I will automatically spill my guts.
I know my girl friend was talking to me the whole time but I only heard about every fourth word. Between being tickled and being prodded my leg reflexes were going of like a fourth of July fire works show. I thought for sure I was going to get yelled at, but she just kept working on those toes like they were the only thing in the world that mattered.
Now for the ecstasy part. This all included hot towels, a phenomenal exfoliating scrub and the best foot and calf message in the world. It was at this moment my friend asked if I would ever do this again and my reply was a resounding YES. I think it's a bit like having a baby, labor is horrible and you swear you will never do it again, then you give your husband that "you've touched me for the last time buddy" look, but when its over and your looking at the results of all that pain, you are willing to do it all over again. (ok, that may be a bit dramatic but you get my point, right?)
At the end of the appointment be both left with soft calves, beautiful toes and big smiles on our faces. I am sure I will do it again but the next time I will know what I am in for so I will be better prepared. How do I say "Please leave the toe attached" in that language?
Yes, I am aware my toes come in sets of sizes.
One time I was getting a pedicure and a woman my age brought her mother in for the very first time, for her birthday. She poured her mother a glass of champagne and on the second glass, the mother turned to her daughter and said, "When you told me to shave my legs for my birthday outing, I thought I was going to get lucky!"
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