Choosing the high road

Salt or Assault, a Retail Story

   “Hey-you, do you have a Kermit the frog?”

I could tell by the impatient tone in the man’s voice that he needed immediate attention. As I looked up from the cash register, I was surprised to see a short, middle aged man with gray hair that hung in messy curls around his round wire rimmed glasses. Nestled against his green army coat was a Perry the Platypus stuffed animal under his arm. I greeted him with the usual retail smile and told him I would check. 

   When I found the shelf empty, I returned to let my eager customer know. His reaction caught me completely off guard; he threw Perry at me and called me a few unpleasant names. I just stared at him, confused and angry. As my face grew hot and my ears turned bright red, I snapped.

   Speaking sharply through clenched teeth I read him the riot act, “Look here you little gray haired munchkin, besides needing a lesson in manners you need to get your values straight! It’s a stuffed animal and I refuse to put up with cretins like you for a measly nine bucks an hour!”

   As I screamed at him, tiny drops of spit landed on his “John Lennon want-to-be glasses, forming irritating beads. I reached across the counter, plucked those glasses from his face and broke them in half. Shoving the crumpled glasses in his hands I wished him a good day and left him standing with his mouth gaping wide open.

Okay, dream sequence over.

   In reality I picked Perry off the floor, dusting him off I handed him back to the man. I politely excused myself telling him I would search the back room and was happy to deliver Kermit into his hands.

Matthew 5:13-16 says, “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled on by men.

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” (NIV)

   In this crazy, mean world there are many occurrences that can make me lose my appealing flavor. Rude people or bad circumstances can make me jump right off that light stand and run for the nearest bush to hide under. It feels natural for me to stand up for my rights and refuse to be treated badly, but Jesus calls me to a higher, more loving standard. He even goes as far as telling me to love my enemies and pray for those that persecute me.

    Hmmm, persecute?! Strong’s concordance says persecute means to systematically oppress or harass a person or group. This has negative reaction written all over it.

   I know it’s hard and seems unfair, Colossians 4:5 and 6 offers a bit of practical help to get us there.

“Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, and not cut them out.” (MSG)

   Choosing to be salt and light is hardly easy, but I must make the active choice to be different from the rest of the world. That’s why it is so noticeable, it is rare and refreshing. Love, patience and kindness stands out like a beacon. Choosing to climb that hill and shine for all to see brings glory to our Father and ultimately makes our life better.

 

 

You Are One Body, treat it right.

You Are One Body, Treat it Right

     “Oh great, they’re coming my way.” The feeling of dread overtakes me and my stomach is in knots. I look around for an easy escape, an unlocked door to duck into or a conversation with an unsuspecting passerby, anything that will get me out of the line of fire. Have you ever felt this way? I cringe to think of how many people I might have hurt on my quest to help them become “better people”. Sadly, my own children have been victims of my frustrations with imperfection and have suffered the sting of sarcasm.

   Why do we get impatient and hurt those we are called to love? A careless word, an unkind look or even the lack of acknowledgement can send someone on a downward spiral. I once had a lady accuse me of purposely enticing the men of the church; I was twelve years old and so embarrassed that it took me two years to step into any church again. I couldn’t help it that I was an early developer, I didn’t ask for this body. Little did she realize that since the time I was four years old sexual abuse was just a part of  "normal" life and my only hope of a safe haven was ripped away with her words.

Ephesians 4: 2, 3, 15, 16 says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (vs. 2, 3)  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”(vs. 15, 16)

   It's like  when I needed shoulder surgery. I had a nasty bone spur that cut a tendon in two. This tendon was attached to a muscle that helped move my arm and once it was detached my arm lost mobility and strength. It took six weeks of not using that arm and another six weeks of careful physical therapy before I was able to use it properly. I didn’t realize how valuable it was until I no longer had its help. It was frustrating but I had to be patient. I had to wait for healing and keep strengthening that arm until it was strong enough to perform the task it was meant to do.

   Do you see where I am going here? When it comes to the body of Christ it is easy to become annoyed with others when they don’t measure up to our expectations. Impatient words, sarcasm or even an exasperated rolling of the eyes can stifle growth or reopen an injury. “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” If I can remember this, it just might help me to be more patient even if it feels like I am “bearing” (“to put up with, to endure.”) with that person for love’s sake. Composing myself and being gentle might not always be easy but it’s sure the way I would want people to deal with me. “From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” This is who we are, supporting ligaments, and parts of a body that shield a hurt, strengthen a weakness and work for the benefit of the whole body not just for a single limb. With all the negative in this world, hurts should not come from our own body members. 

I wonder what change for the better my life would have taken if I had felt a part of a loving family? Time, patience, gentleness and love are never wasted. Eventually these produce healthy members that work together in the bond of peace.

No thanks, I'll pass

No Thanks, I’ll Pass

   Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to choose the hardships that come our way?  Wouldn’t we love to have an OPT-OUT button to push when difficulties cross our paths? A few things I would opt out of are the pinky toe- it is just in the way, serves no purpose and wreaks havoc on my socks. How about junk mail, how did they get my address in the first place? Don’t even get me started on armpit hair (what the heck?) and menopause would be a big “no thanks.” Sick children, bill collectors, argumentative spouses, long grocery lines and bumper to bumper traffic would all be rectified by that wonderful little button.

   We have all faced unpleasant circumstances, very often life can deal us a dirty hand and when the dust settles we are left standing there, beaten down and confused. I know, sometimes my troubles are a result of emotional decisions or simply not taking the time to think things through, but there are those times when crummy things happen and amazingly I didn’t have anything to do with it. This would be the perfect time to push that amazing button and let the troubles roll by as I smile and wave. Sadly this is not how life is.

Nahum1:7 says, “The Lord is good, a refuge in time of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.”

Psalms 126:5, 6 says, “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.”

   I love the example of the one sowing in tears or the one that goes out with seed to plant even though they are weeping. We often weather hard times and still have to continue on with life. Children still need fed, homes still need to be cleaned, and laundry doesn’t wash itself so we continue on in spite of the storm.

   The struggle is real but I am learning to trust God as my strength and help. Even if I’m weeping as I continue on, there is the hope of joy and peace that comes with knowing God is good, he has the solution and he cares for me.

    Instead of the imaginary opt out button; we have a perfect loving father that is able and willing to be our help and refuge. When we put our trust in him we are somehow able to survive those difficult situations and come out on the other side singing, or at least wiping our brow, glad to be alive.

Welcome to my world, look at it mocking me.

Let me bend your ear

Talk, talk, talk

   “Hmmm, can I tell her now? Wait; is this a good time to tell her? Man, this is torture!” these were my thoughts as I stood in the bank line for twenty minutes, just waiting for an opportunity to tell a story to my poor unsuspecting teller. She was working hard on an important job for me, interrupting her just to tell a story could result in a financial failure that I didn’t want to explain to my husband. So, I kept my mouth shut. It was an excruciating twenty minutes. I even checked out the guy in line next to me to see if he would be a willing listener, he was clearly not interested in anything I had to say. I left the bank with a job well done but I felt a bit deflated, I had some really great stories and she totally missed out.

   Have you ever heard the nineteen-sixties song by Frankie Ford, You Talk Too Much? It starts with a verse that says “You talk too much you worry me to death, you talk too much you even worry my pets, you just taaalllkk, talk too much.” It’s in your head now isn’t it? This song pretty much describes my personality.

   Being an extrovert and loving the art of a one sided conversation, I view people as potential listeners where ever I go. Don’t worry, if you can’t think of anything to say, I will rescue you. Really all you have to do is sit back and listen to my stories. If you’ve already heard it, no problem, it promises to get better each time I tell it. No person is safe, no place is off limits; grocery lines, sample tables, laundromats, even bathroom stalls are not taboo.

    My only frustrations comes when I try to have a one sided conversation with another extrovert, “excuse me, I was still talking and you rudely interrupted.”  Also those people that clearly lack listening skills and are easily distracted by things like, their kids, other people, house fires, bank robberies and other unimportant happenings.

1 Corinthians 13:1 says, “If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything as plain as day, and if I have faith to say to a mountain, “jump,” and it jumps, but don’t love, I’m nothing.”

   In my quest to put others first I am slowly making progress. Allowing people to interrupt me and then wait for them to invite me to finish what I was saying has been a very hard mountain to conquer.  Walking away without reciting at least two gripping stories leaves me unsatisfied, but I need to keep in mind that others may have something to say and maybe they aren’t as out spoken as I am.

   It’s amazing what I learn when I do one simple thing, listen. I’m not saying that being an extravert is bad; knowing great stories and having the ability to deliver them successfully is a gift. If I don’t take the time to listen to others then I miss out on how truly unique that person is. How can I possibly know if a person is hurting, lonely, in need of a friend or even what their favorite color is if I continue to be the “creaking of a rusty gate?” It’s a matter of preferring others and it isn’t always easy.

   So, as I learn to put others first and muzzle my mouth a bit don’t worry, nothing is wrong, I am just choosing to hear about you for once.

AND because I just couldn't resist.

Bubble wrap is for sissies

Like Riding a Bike

   Wind in their faces and sun on their backs, weaving through traffic and jumping off curbs. Some are hunched over with the look of competitive determination and others sit up straight seeming to not have a care in the world. Bicycling, I watch and wonder if it is something I would enjoy but fear always follows that thought as I mentally count the cost.

   I have decided, several times, that I would like to ride a bike. It looks fun, its great exercise but I hadn’t been on a bike since I was carefree and thirteen.  

   Wanting to conquer my fears, I borrowed my brother’s bike and set a date to begin. Once I missed that date and shamefully a few more, I decided I had to get serious. I brought the bike out of the shop and carefully fitted the strap of my helmet for perfect comfort and optimum safety.  I wondered if I had erred in not purchasing any other kind of padding, bubble wrap came to mind. I was a bit shaky at first but I must admit that after riding in circles in my driveway for twenty minutes I felt confident enough to hit the open road.

   After leaving the security of my driveway it occurred to me that I had opened myself up to a plethora of possible hazards. What if my wheel came off and I was thrown over my handlebars? What if I was chased by someone’s angry dog or worse by the local cougar that occasionally visits the woods nearby? What about those huge storm grates on the side of the road, is it possible to fall in one? If I fall will I break a bone, I’ve never broken a bone, I’m pretty sure it hurts. Don’t even get me started on cavernous ditches and careless drivers.

   After wobbling down the road a ways something happened, I began to smile. Pedaling my way through the quiet streets, feeling the cool breeze on my face and the sun on my shoulders I found a sense of freedom and I felt thirteen again. Maneuvering sharp corners was a bit tricky and I took stock of every parked car so I didn’t become a casualty of an opening door. After about thirty minutes my only concern was whether my pants were properly pulled up on my backside so people didn’t get a free glance at my unmentionables.

   I am so glad that I took the time to try something new and I say to you happy cyclists around the world “I get it.” I get the feeling of freedom and accomplishment that comes from propelling yourself from one place to another, maneuvering through obstacles and successfully arriving alive. I don’t know, maybe I’m over thinking it but I am grateful when my tires hit the gravel in my driveway and I am home unharmed and refreshed.

Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

   There are other things I have wanted to do but I admit I am sometimes fearful. I am afraid of failure. How can I be successful if I don’t try? Taking that first step can be scary but without it the journey will never begin? 

 Before climbing on that bike I prayed, eventually I decided to just give the fears to God. Trusting him leads to joy, peace and eventually success. If you have a dream, give it to God and step out in faith.

Shes not super attractive but she rides like the wind

Don't let the faux quilt work fool you, it is vengeful and vindictive.

Scary and may contain living creatures, just sayin.

The great crevasse, most of our ditches are like this. yikes

Not meant as a stopping device and may seem to jump out in front of you.

Do you see the little beads of fear sweat on my brow?

Grandparenting Is An Awesome Adventure

Weekend Fun

   My son-in-law turns forty this month and since he thinks that is very old he took his wife and met some good friends at the beach for the weekend. That meant Terry and I had the privilege of watching the grands.

   I was determined to make this a fun, adventurous weekend no matter how tired I felt . I started with the announcement that we would bring the mattresses and bedding downstairs and glamp in the livingroom. That started a land slide of books, stuffed animals and toys that came tumbling down the stairs, these were all necessary for a successful livingroom camp. 

This is what glamping in our house looks like.
Reading a good magazine before we settle in for the night is prime.

 This is the night I learned Livie is not so great at sleeping all night, I found that out around 2 a.m. and I ended up on the couch.

The next morning started out with a quick light saber duel in front of the Incinerator of Doom while watching a little Sponge Bob. It was 6:30 a.m.

A little workout with aunty Mel later that day, Connor was exercising his right to eat pepperoni.

That night we ate mac n cheese while they watched more sponge bob. This is usually forbidden when the mom and ancient dad are around.

After watching some quality nature TV (for you who were concerned about all the sponge bob) we practiced eating popcorn like a chameleon. 

Sunday we walked across the street to our awesome neighbor and bought plants for the garden. (They wouldn't actually touch them for fear of bugs)

Tomatoes and squash
we are ready to plant

We planted green beans and carrots, Livie put her beans in one at a time in a straight row,
Connor threw them in by the handfuls, this will be interesting.

At the end of the day we washed off the garden dirt in grandmas fun shower.
(Separately, That's important to know)

 

I braided her hair and she put it up like "princess leah"

   When the ancient man and his wife finally came home they were met with lots of hugs and the usual question, "where's my prize?" As the kids cleaned up all their mess at their mom's request you could here Livie say, "well the old mom's back."

   Terry and I were in bed by 8 pm that night.

Because laughter is truly the best medicine

The Left Handed Super Hero

I made my bed for the first time in three weeks and I felt like I could achieve anything.

   You see I had shoulder surgery on my right shoulder three weeks ago and I have been forced to use my left hand for everything.

   I went in to this journey with the attitude that it would be a piece of cake; I soon regretted the surgery as I was forced to enter the bizzaro world of the left handed.

   I had no idea how hard these left handers have it in our right handed society. Simple tasks like eating, writing and getting dressed all became messy challenges that made feeling like I was four years old. My morning routine was all messed up too, showering, toweling off and putting on under garments made me sweaty all over again. I can’t even begin to tell you how hard brushing my teeth became and trying to curl my hair has been a disaster; I have been reduced to curling it under like a Paige boy and I can’t help thinking I bear a striking resemblance to Little Lord Fauntleroy. Shaking someone’s left hand feels so awkward and people stare at you like you’re a freak.

   The commode is where this phenom’s super powers reach maximum ability and that is all I have to say on that subject. I have opted out of even trying to apply eye makeup because my eyes are irreplaceable.  Manipulating bra hooks are simply impossible. If you are a left handed woman my heart goes out to you, if you have mastered this feat go ahead and run for the Presidency because you can do anything. I have personally given up on this conquest and I only leave my house in dire emergencies.

   Sometimes I stare at my mere mortal right arm and wonder at the easy life I had when it was my friend. On an up note cooking and dishes have been forbidden entities because clearly only left handed marvels can do these single handedly.

   So if you are one of those left handed hero’s, my hat is off to you. Go out into the world with your head held high and shake opposite hands with confidence, eat out in a booth with boldness and click that seatbelt like a pro. Don’t worry that the majority of people are right handed, you are truly the gifted ones.

My right arm brace, it's like a slimmed down straight jacket. Like kryptonite it is my nemesis.

My beautiful made bed. Yes, I love pillows.

I decided to tuck my hair behind my ears, I didn't like looking like the ancient Monarchy.