Because laughter is truly the best medicine

The Left Handed Super Hero

I made my bed for the first time in three weeks and I felt like I could achieve anything.

   You see I had shoulder surgery on my right shoulder three weeks ago and I have been forced to use my left hand for everything.

   I went in to this journey with the attitude that it would be a piece of cake; I soon regretted the surgery as I was forced to enter the bizzaro world of the left handed.

   I had no idea how hard these left handers have it in our right handed society. Simple tasks like eating, writing and getting dressed all became messy challenges that made feeling like I was four years old. My morning routine was all messed up too, showering, toweling off and putting on under garments made me sweaty all over again. I can’t even begin to tell you how hard brushing my teeth became and trying to curl my hair has been a disaster; I have been reduced to curling it under like a Paige boy and I can’t help thinking I bear a striking resemblance to Little Lord Fauntleroy. Shaking someone’s left hand feels so awkward and people stare at you like you’re a freak.

   The commode is where this phenom’s super powers reach maximum ability and that is all I have to say on that subject. I have opted out of even trying to apply eye makeup because my eyes are irreplaceable.  Manipulating bra hooks are simply impossible. If you are a left handed woman my heart goes out to you, if you have mastered this feat go ahead and run for the Presidency because you can do anything. I have personally given up on this conquest and I only leave my house in dire emergencies.

   Sometimes I stare at my mere mortal right arm and wonder at the easy life I had when it was my friend. On an up note cooking and dishes have been forbidden entities because clearly only left handed marvels can do these single handedly.

   So if you are one of those left handed hero’s, my hat is off to you. Go out into the world with your head held high and shake opposite hands with confidence, eat out in a booth with boldness and click that seatbelt like a pro. Don’t worry that the majority of people are right handed, you are truly the gifted ones.

My right arm brace, it's like a slimmed down straight jacket. Like kryptonite it is my nemesis.

My beautiful made bed. Yes, I love pillows.

I decided to tuck my hair behind my ears, I didn't like looking like the ancient Monarchy.