A little spackle, a little paint, a whole lot of understanding.

Remodel Madness

   “If you didn’t want my opinion then why did you ask?” My question was laced with a bit of sarcasm as my husband and I stood staring at each other.  Deciding on cabinet door sizes should be easy.  I am the one using the cabinets so I know what size I want. The frustration level escalated as I saw his facial expression turn to red alert.

   I knew where I took a wrong turn. After thirty three years of marriage and hundreds of building projects you would think I would know better. You see, I am well practiced at the art of interruption. I know that in my husband’s process of creativity he will include a few extra options so we are on the same page.  This is where I get bored and jump right in to speed things up a bit; less is more in my mish mash book of life.

   When asked where I would like an outlet placed I would tell him wherever he wants to put it, I will simply walk over to it when I want to use it, simple right? Regrettably I later realized that there is a convenience factor when it comes to placement.

   Learning to get along has been a well practiced but not always successful journey. We are pretty opposite when it comes to just about everything. I like bright bold colorful walls, he likes white, I am contemporary/modern design, and he is conventional / conservative. Two things we have learned over the years are patience and the art of compromise.

   Colossians 3:12, 13 says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord gave you.”

   This verse is a perfect example for a marriage “How To” manual. We could call it “Seven Self-Help Directives to Constructing a Healthy Marriage.” I just call it “The quick reminder verse I go to so I don’t rip your head off while we are having this conversation.”

   When I clothe myself with something that means I have chosen to wear it. I choose kindness, patience, gentleness and compassion when I decide that he and his opinions are just as valuable as mine. A simple thing like just shutting my mouth and letting him finish lets him know I care about what he has to say. This has really helped to get us where we are today. It’s simply practicing love.

   Is there something in your marriage or other relationships that needs a little construction work? We all have the tools to make things better we just have to decide to use them. The help that always seals the deal for me is the last part of that verse, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” God is always patient, gentle, forgiving and compassionate with me, who am I not to use the example of the master builder?

Excuse Me While I Wipe The Chocolate From My Face.

 Frustrated Foodie 

      Its ten a.m. and I'm already hungry.  I try to ignore the uncomfortable pangs as my stomach screams my name. This is mid- morning of the first day of my latest attempt to lose weight and I’m already contemplating giving up.

    I've tried a buffet of diets on my quest to be thin. There was the cabbage soup diet (not to be eaten when you were planning on being in public), the hot dog and cantaloupe diet (this one actually included a half cup of ice-cream but didn't specify level or heaping so being the generous person I am, I was  always charitable), the all meat diet (no fiber), the no meat diet (always hungry), the liquid shake diet , the smaller portion diet (this one gave me way too much freedom), the fat free diet, diet apps on my phone, a horrible little fat blocking pill that had embarrassing side effects, and I confess I have even tried the “Breath your way to a thinner you,” diet.

    It seems I’m always trying to conform to a set of rules that leaves me frustrated. It is the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep. I know the importance of being healthy.  I feel the pressure of looking a certain way and I hate how I allow this to make me feel undesirable.  Rejection, whether from my own self-condemning thoughts or the words and actions of others, leaves me feeling inadequate and makes me want to retreat in defeat from daily life.  

   So here I am at fifty-two and still trying to figure this whole thing out. I’m not willing to give up because that means total defeat. I figure if I just keep moving forward, someday I will pass the finish line.

    2 Corinthians 12:9 says, But the Lord said, “My grace is all you need. Only when you are weak can everything be done completely by my power.” (ERV)

This shows he has a plan and doesn't leave me to fend for myself.

   Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

This verse keeps me going with a promise of eventual victory.

   Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

I can do this because of his perfect power. When I feel the urge to just give up, I know it will be through his strength that I will eventually master my frustration.  Knowing he will enable me to be victorious is a real pressure relief; my peace depends on trusting his word.

    What thoughts put you to bed and greet you first thing in the morning? Is it depression, addiction, anger? The list could go on and on.  Changing the way we think by resting and relying on God can change our life forever.