Choosing the high road

Salt or Assault, a Retail Story

   “Hey-you, do you have a Kermit the frog?”

I could tell by the impatient tone in the man’s voice that he needed immediate attention. As I looked up from the cash register, I was surprised to see a short, middle aged man with gray hair that hung in messy curls around his round wire rimmed glasses. Nestled against his green army coat was a Perry the Platypus stuffed animal under his arm. I greeted him with the usual retail smile and told him I would check. 

   When I found the shelf empty, I returned to let my eager customer know. His reaction caught me completely off guard; he threw Perry at me and called me a few unpleasant names. I just stared at him, confused and angry. As my face grew hot and my ears turned bright red, I snapped.

   Speaking sharply through clenched teeth I read him the riot act, “Look here you little gray haired munchkin, besides needing a lesson in manners you need to get your values straight! It’s a stuffed animal and I refuse to put up with cretins like you for a measly nine bucks an hour!”

   As I screamed at him, tiny drops of spit landed on his “John Lennon want-to-be glasses, forming irritating beads. I reached across the counter, plucked those glasses from his face and broke them in half. Shoving the crumpled glasses in his hands I wished him a good day and left him standing with his mouth gaping wide open.

Okay, dream sequence over.

   In reality I picked Perry off the floor, dusting him off I handed him back to the man. I politely excused myself telling him I would search the back room and was happy to deliver Kermit into his hands.

Matthew 5:13-16 says, “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled on by men.

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” (NIV)

   In this crazy, mean world there are many occurrences that can make me lose my appealing flavor. Rude people or bad circumstances can make me jump right off that light stand and run for the nearest bush to hide under. It feels natural for me to stand up for my rights and refuse to be treated badly, but Jesus calls me to a higher, more loving standard. He even goes as far as telling me to love my enemies and pray for those that persecute me.

    Hmmm, persecute?! Strong’s concordance says persecute means to systematically oppress or harass a person or group. This has negative reaction written all over it.

   I know it’s hard and seems unfair, Colossians 4:5 and 6 offers a bit of practical help to get us there.

“Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, and not cut them out.” (MSG)

   Choosing to be salt and light is hardly easy, but I must make the active choice to be different from the rest of the world. That’s why it is so noticeable, it is rare and refreshing. Love, patience and kindness stands out like a beacon. Choosing to climb that hill and shine for all to see brings glory to our Father and ultimately makes our life better.

 

 

You Are One Body, treat it right.

You Are One Body, Treat it Right

     “Oh great, they’re coming my way.” The feeling of dread overtakes me and my stomach is in knots. I look around for an easy escape, an unlocked door to duck into or a conversation with an unsuspecting passerby, anything that will get me out of the line of fire. Have you ever felt this way? I cringe to think of how many people I might have hurt on my quest to help them become “better people”. Sadly, my own children have been victims of my frustrations with imperfection and have suffered the sting of sarcasm.

   Why do we get impatient and hurt those we are called to love? A careless word, an unkind look or even the lack of acknowledgement can send someone on a downward spiral. I once had a lady accuse me of purposely enticing the men of the church; I was twelve years old and so embarrassed that it took me two years to step into any church again. I couldn’t help it that I was an early developer, I didn’t ask for this body. Little did she realize that since the time I was four years old sexual abuse was just a part of  "normal" life and my only hope of a safe haven was ripped away with her words.

Ephesians 4: 2, 3, 15, 16 says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (vs. 2, 3)  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”(vs. 15, 16)

   It's like  when I needed shoulder surgery. I had a nasty bone spur that cut a tendon in two. This tendon was attached to a muscle that helped move my arm and once it was detached my arm lost mobility and strength. It took six weeks of not using that arm and another six weeks of careful physical therapy before I was able to use it properly. I didn’t realize how valuable it was until I no longer had its help. It was frustrating but I had to be patient. I had to wait for healing and keep strengthening that arm until it was strong enough to perform the task it was meant to do.

   Do you see where I am going here? When it comes to the body of Christ it is easy to become annoyed with others when they don’t measure up to our expectations. Impatient words, sarcasm or even an exasperated rolling of the eyes can stifle growth or reopen an injury. “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” If I can remember this, it just might help me to be more patient even if it feels like I am “bearing” (“to put up with, to endure.”) with that person for love’s sake. Composing myself and being gentle might not always be easy but it’s sure the way I would want people to deal with me. “From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” This is who we are, supporting ligaments, and parts of a body that shield a hurt, strengthen a weakness and work for the benefit of the whole body not just for a single limb. With all the negative in this world, hurts should not come from our own body members. 

I wonder what change for the better my life would have taken if I had felt a part of a loving family? Time, patience, gentleness and love are never wasted. Eventually these produce healthy members that work together in the bond of peace.

No thanks, I'll pass

No Thanks, I’ll Pass

   Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to choose the hardships that come our way?  Wouldn’t we love to have an OPT-OUT button to push when difficulties cross our paths? A few things I would opt out of are the pinky toe- it is just in the way, serves no purpose and wreaks havoc on my socks. How about junk mail, how did they get my address in the first place? Don’t even get me started on armpit hair (what the heck?) and menopause would be a big “no thanks.” Sick children, bill collectors, argumentative spouses, long grocery lines and bumper to bumper traffic would all be rectified by that wonderful little button.

   We have all faced unpleasant circumstances, very often life can deal us a dirty hand and when the dust settles we are left standing there, beaten down and confused. I know, sometimes my troubles are a result of emotional decisions or simply not taking the time to think things through, but there are those times when crummy things happen and amazingly I didn’t have anything to do with it. This would be the perfect time to push that amazing button and let the troubles roll by as I smile and wave. Sadly this is not how life is.

Nahum1:7 says, “The Lord is good, a refuge in time of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.”

Psalms 126:5, 6 says, “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.”

   I love the example of the one sowing in tears or the one that goes out with seed to plant even though they are weeping. We often weather hard times and still have to continue on with life. Children still need fed, homes still need to be cleaned, and laundry doesn’t wash itself so we continue on in spite of the storm.

   The struggle is real but I am learning to trust God as my strength and help. Even if I’m weeping as I continue on, there is the hope of joy and peace that comes with knowing God is good, he has the solution and he cares for me.

    Instead of the imaginary opt out button; we have a perfect loving father that is able and willing to be our help and refuge. When we put our trust in him we are somehow able to survive those difficult situations and come out on the other side singing, or at least wiping our brow, glad to be alive.

Welcome to my world, look at it mocking me.

Let me bend your ear

Talk, talk, talk

   “Hmmm, can I tell her now? Wait; is this a good time to tell her? Man, this is torture!” these were my thoughts as I stood in the bank line for twenty minutes, just waiting for an opportunity to tell a story to my poor unsuspecting teller. She was working hard on an important job for me, interrupting her just to tell a story could result in a financial failure that I didn’t want to explain to my husband. So, I kept my mouth shut. It was an excruciating twenty minutes. I even checked out the guy in line next to me to see if he would be a willing listener, he was clearly not interested in anything I had to say. I left the bank with a job well done but I felt a bit deflated, I had some really great stories and she totally missed out.

   Have you ever heard the nineteen-sixties song by Frankie Ford, You Talk Too Much? It starts with a verse that says “You talk too much you worry me to death, you talk too much you even worry my pets, you just taaalllkk, talk too much.” It’s in your head now isn’t it? This song pretty much describes my personality.

   Being an extrovert and loving the art of a one sided conversation, I view people as potential listeners where ever I go. Don’t worry, if you can’t think of anything to say, I will rescue you. Really all you have to do is sit back and listen to my stories. If you’ve already heard it, no problem, it promises to get better each time I tell it. No person is safe, no place is off limits; grocery lines, sample tables, laundromats, even bathroom stalls are not taboo.

    My only frustrations comes when I try to have a one sided conversation with another extrovert, “excuse me, I was still talking and you rudely interrupted.”  Also those people that clearly lack listening skills and are easily distracted by things like, their kids, other people, house fires, bank robberies and other unimportant happenings.

1 Corinthians 13:1 says, “If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything as plain as day, and if I have faith to say to a mountain, “jump,” and it jumps, but don’t love, I’m nothing.”

   In my quest to put others first I am slowly making progress. Allowing people to interrupt me and then wait for them to invite me to finish what I was saying has been a very hard mountain to conquer.  Walking away without reciting at least two gripping stories leaves me unsatisfied, but I need to keep in mind that others may have something to say and maybe they aren’t as out spoken as I am.

   It’s amazing what I learn when I do one simple thing, listen. I’m not saying that being an extravert is bad; knowing great stories and having the ability to deliver them successfully is a gift. If I don’t take the time to listen to others then I miss out on how truly unique that person is. How can I possibly know if a person is hurting, lonely, in need of a friend or even what their favorite color is if I continue to be the “creaking of a rusty gate?” It’s a matter of preferring others and it isn’t always easy.

   So, as I learn to put others first and muzzle my mouth a bit don’t worry, nothing is wrong, I am just choosing to hear about you for once.

AND because I just couldn't resist.

Bubble wrap is for sissies

Like Riding a Bike

   Wind in their faces and sun on their backs, weaving through traffic and jumping off curbs. Some are hunched over with the look of competitive determination and others sit up straight seeming to not have a care in the world. Bicycling, I watch and wonder if it is something I would enjoy but fear always follows that thought as I mentally count the cost.

   I have decided, several times, that I would like to ride a bike. It looks fun, its great exercise but I hadn’t been on a bike since I was carefree and thirteen.  

   Wanting to conquer my fears, I borrowed my brother’s bike and set a date to begin. Once I missed that date and shamefully a few more, I decided I had to get serious. I brought the bike out of the shop and carefully fitted the strap of my helmet for perfect comfort and optimum safety.  I wondered if I had erred in not purchasing any other kind of padding, bubble wrap came to mind. I was a bit shaky at first but I must admit that after riding in circles in my driveway for twenty minutes I felt confident enough to hit the open road.

   After leaving the security of my driveway it occurred to me that I had opened myself up to a plethora of possible hazards. What if my wheel came off and I was thrown over my handlebars? What if I was chased by someone’s angry dog or worse by the local cougar that occasionally visits the woods nearby? What about those huge storm grates on the side of the road, is it possible to fall in one? If I fall will I break a bone, I’ve never broken a bone, I’m pretty sure it hurts. Don’t even get me started on cavernous ditches and careless drivers.

   After wobbling down the road a ways something happened, I began to smile. Pedaling my way through the quiet streets, feeling the cool breeze on my face and the sun on my shoulders I found a sense of freedom and I felt thirteen again. Maneuvering sharp corners was a bit tricky and I took stock of every parked car so I didn’t become a casualty of an opening door. After about thirty minutes my only concern was whether my pants were properly pulled up on my backside so people didn’t get a free glance at my unmentionables.

   I am so glad that I took the time to try something new and I say to you happy cyclists around the world “I get it.” I get the feeling of freedom and accomplishment that comes from propelling yourself from one place to another, maneuvering through obstacles and successfully arriving alive. I don’t know, maybe I’m over thinking it but I am grateful when my tires hit the gravel in my driveway and I am home unharmed and refreshed.

Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

   There are other things I have wanted to do but I admit I am sometimes fearful. I am afraid of failure. How can I be successful if I don’t try? Taking that first step can be scary but without it the journey will never begin? 

 Before climbing on that bike I prayed, eventually I decided to just give the fears to God. Trusting him leads to joy, peace and eventually success. If you have a dream, give it to God and step out in faith.

Shes not super attractive but she rides like the wind

Don't let the faux quilt work fool you, it is vengeful and vindictive.

Scary and may contain living creatures, just sayin.

The great crevasse, most of our ditches are like this. yikes

Not meant as a stopping device and may seem to jump out in front of you.

Do you see the little beads of fear sweat on my brow?

Grandparenting Is An Awesome Adventure

Weekend Fun

   My son-in-law turns forty this month and since he thinks that is very old he took his wife and met some good friends at the beach for the weekend. That meant Terry and I had the privilege of watching the grands.

   I was determined to make this a fun, adventurous weekend no matter how tired I felt . I started with the announcement that we would bring the mattresses and bedding downstairs and glamp in the livingroom. That started a land slide of books, stuffed animals and toys that came tumbling down the stairs, these were all necessary for a successful livingroom camp. 

This is what glamping in our house looks like.
Reading a good magazine before we settle in for the night is prime.

 This is the night I learned Livie is not so great at sleeping all night, I found that out around 2 a.m. and I ended up on the couch.

The next morning started out with a quick light saber duel in front of the Incinerator of Doom while watching a little Sponge Bob. It was 6:30 a.m.

A little workout with aunty Mel later that day, Connor was exercising his right to eat pepperoni.

That night we ate mac n cheese while they watched more sponge bob. This is usually forbidden when the mom and ancient dad are around.

After watching some quality nature TV (for you who were concerned about all the sponge bob) we practiced eating popcorn like a chameleon. 

Sunday we walked across the street to our awesome neighbor and bought plants for the garden. (They wouldn't actually touch them for fear of bugs)

Tomatoes and squash
we are ready to plant

We planted green beans and carrots, Livie put her beans in one at a time in a straight row,
Connor threw them in by the handfuls, this will be interesting.

At the end of the day we washed off the garden dirt in grandmas fun shower.
(Separately, That's important to know)

 

I braided her hair and she put it up like "princess leah"

   When the ancient man and his wife finally came home they were met with lots of hugs and the usual question, "where's my prize?" As the kids cleaned up all their mess at their mom's request you could here Livie say, "well the old mom's back."

   Terry and I were in bed by 8 pm that night.

Because laughter is truly the best medicine

The Left Handed Super Hero

I made my bed for the first time in three weeks and I felt like I could achieve anything.

   You see I had shoulder surgery on my right shoulder three weeks ago and I have been forced to use my left hand for everything.

   I went in to this journey with the attitude that it would be a piece of cake; I soon regretted the surgery as I was forced to enter the bizzaro world of the left handed.

   I had no idea how hard these left handers have it in our right handed society. Simple tasks like eating, writing and getting dressed all became messy challenges that made feeling like I was four years old. My morning routine was all messed up too, showering, toweling off and putting on under garments made me sweaty all over again. I can’t even begin to tell you how hard brushing my teeth became and trying to curl my hair has been a disaster; I have been reduced to curling it under like a Paige boy and I can’t help thinking I bear a striking resemblance to Little Lord Fauntleroy. Shaking someone’s left hand feels so awkward and people stare at you like you’re a freak.

   The commode is where this phenom’s super powers reach maximum ability and that is all I have to say on that subject. I have opted out of even trying to apply eye makeup because my eyes are irreplaceable.  Manipulating bra hooks are simply impossible. If you are a left handed woman my heart goes out to you, if you have mastered this feat go ahead and run for the Presidency because you can do anything. I have personally given up on this conquest and I only leave my house in dire emergencies.

   Sometimes I stare at my mere mortal right arm and wonder at the easy life I had when it was my friend. On an up note cooking and dishes have been forbidden entities because clearly only left handed marvels can do these single handedly.

   So if you are one of those left handed hero’s, my hat is off to you. Go out into the world with your head held high and shake opposite hands with confidence, eat out in a booth with boldness and click that seatbelt like a pro. Don’t worry that the majority of people are right handed, you are truly the gifted ones.

My right arm brace, it's like a slimmed down straight jacket. Like kryptonite it is my nemesis.

My beautiful made bed. Yes, I love pillows.

I decided to tuck my hair behind my ears, I didn't like looking like the ancient Monarchy.

Where do I fit In?

Dammit Angey

   Beads of sweat formed on my brow as I nervously chewed my finger nails. Waiting to hear my name being yelled through the house was torturous. “Larry, Kenny, Chucky, Davey, Ricky, dammit Angey, get in here!”

   I come from a large family, five brothers to be precise. Sometimes being the only girl made it hard to know where I fit within this loud, rowdy, society of boys. Being so far down the sibling list only made things worse, when my mom called for a kid she usually went through the whole list before she found the one she wanted. So “dammit Angey” could have easily become my nickname.

   Feeling like a part of the family didn’t always come easy. As the only girl I didn't have a lot in common with the five boys. I was all Barbies, babies and easy bake oven; they were all cars, karate, and blowing things up. It seemed my mom was more accustomed to boys so she wasn't sure how to handle the drama and emotions that goes along with raising a girl. I knew they were my family but the camaraderie that goes along with the privilege was just not there.

   Have you ever been unsure if you “fit in” as a Christian? Maybe your first reaction towards someone was not out of love, or temptation got the best of you and now your reputation is in jeopardy.   Do you feel like your name is way down the list of importance? What is the pronoun you would put at the beginning of your name? Sometimes we can even feel like an outsider because we don’t have much in common with our brothers and sisters.

   Zephaniah 3:17 says, “The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”

Ephesians 2:4-5 says, “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace you have been saved.”

   Know this- God loves you exactly the way you are, “even when we were dead in transgressions.” He takes “great delight” in you. He even sings you your own special love song, how great is that?

   Just because you don’t always feel accepted doesn’t change the truth that no one in history could love and cherish you the way God does. He calls you lovely, mighty, beautiful, important, smart, healthy, blessed, desired, dear children and his own; the list could go on and on.

   When those accusatory lies sneak into your head, when negative emotions convince you that you are a big nobody, remind yourself that you are the sweetheart of God himself. You are the apple of his eye and there is nothing more important to him than you. You have a place and it fits you perfectly.

Top L-R Kenny, me, Larry
Davey,Rickey, Chucky

 L to R
Davey, me, Ricky

Here's Chucky

Kenny

Larry, me, Ricky

Free or not free, that is the question.

 Honesty may be the best policy but it's not always the easiest. 

   It all started with a trip to Costco. Terry and I decided to go grocery shopping and have dinner out. This is usually how our date nights go, most often it's a trip to Home Depot but this time we hit our favorite big box store.

   As we entered the store we were met by a very charming and energetic salesman pushing the latest in a bluetooth sound systems. Being a sucker for a good deal, I had Terry load the giant speaker in our basket and we were off to finish our shopping. I have to admit the whole time we shopped I really wanted to unload the behemoth and abandon it slyly in some unpopulated aisle, people do it all the time right? 

   Well we made to check out and then through the guards that frisk your receipt and make sure you are an honest shopper. When we finally arrived home Terry had me check the receipt to see if they gave us the discount on the player and to my surprise they sure did, in fact they didn't charge us at all. 

   At first I was elated, it seemed I just got a free fancy schmancy system compliments of Costco. Then it hit, I felt like a thief. Why oh why did he have me look at the stupid receipt?! 

I have to admit that it took me a couple of hours of justifying and arguing with my conscience before deciding it needed to be returned. It seemed like fate had briefly smiled on us but I just couldn't smile back. It sat, unopened, in the corner of my dining room and snickered at me everytime I walked by. I really started to hate the thing and this was only after a few hours.
   When I called Costco and explained what happened they couldn't believe I actually called them. Secretly I was hoping that they would say "oh Mrs. Lovenburg it was our mistake, we won't make you drive the thirty miles back to our store and return it. Enjoy your new sound system." Nope, thats not what happened, as a matter of fact when I returned it I found that they had charged me for two items I didn't actually buy and the lady walked me out to my car to sort through my groceries and make sure they really weren't there. I know, I know, it's policy but I did have to laugh and remind her that I just voluntarily returned something worth one hundred and fifty dollars out of the goodness of my heart. 

   I felt good driving home, no more guilt looming over my head. Two weeks later I got the deal of the century, I bought exactly what I wanted from a friend for fifteen bucks and the best thing of all is I can enjoy my music without guilt or justification.

   I know this probably sounds crazy to some but, I love freedom. Guilt can be like a vice that squeezes the joy out of everything you do.

Proverbs 16:8 says, "Better a little with righteousness than much gain with injustice."  

Proverbs 3:27 says, "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it,when it is in your power to act."

It even comes with a remote.
The earplugs are for the sounds I don,t want to hear. (Ahem, Terry)

A little spackle, a little paint, a whole lot of understanding.

Remodel Madness

   “If you didn’t want my opinion then why did you ask?” My question was laced with a bit of sarcasm as my husband and I stood staring at each other.  Deciding on cabinet door sizes should be easy.  I am the one using the cabinets so I know what size I want. The frustration level escalated as I saw his facial expression turn to red alert.

   I knew where I took a wrong turn. After thirty three years of marriage and hundreds of building projects you would think I would know better. You see, I am well practiced at the art of interruption. I know that in my husband’s process of creativity he will include a few extra options so we are on the same page.  This is where I get bored and jump right in to speed things up a bit; less is more in my mish mash book of life.

   When asked where I would like an outlet placed I would tell him wherever he wants to put it, I will simply walk over to it when I want to use it, simple right? Regrettably I later realized that there is a convenience factor when it comes to placement.

   Learning to get along has been a well practiced but not always successful journey. We are pretty opposite when it comes to just about everything. I like bright bold colorful walls, he likes white, I am contemporary/modern design, and he is conventional / conservative. Two things we have learned over the years are patience and the art of compromise.

   Colossians 3:12, 13 says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord gave you.”

   This verse is a perfect example for a marriage “How To” manual. We could call it “Seven Self-Help Directives to Constructing a Healthy Marriage.” I just call it “The quick reminder verse I go to so I don’t rip your head off while we are having this conversation.”

   When I clothe myself with something that means I have chosen to wear it. I choose kindness, patience, gentleness and compassion when I decide that he and his opinions are just as valuable as mine. A simple thing like just shutting my mouth and letting him finish lets him know I care about what he has to say. This has really helped to get us where we are today. It’s simply practicing love.

   Is there something in your marriage or other relationships that needs a little construction work? We all have the tools to make things better we just have to decide to use them. The help that always seals the deal for me is the last part of that verse, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” God is always patient, gentle, forgiving and compassionate with me, who am I not to use the example of the master builder?

Excuse Me While I Wipe The Chocolate From My Face.

 Frustrated Foodie 

      Its ten a.m. and I'm already hungry.  I try to ignore the uncomfortable pangs as my stomach screams my name. This is mid- morning of the first day of my latest attempt to lose weight and I’m already contemplating giving up.

    I've tried a buffet of diets on my quest to be thin. There was the cabbage soup diet (not to be eaten when you were planning on being in public), the hot dog and cantaloupe diet (this one actually included a half cup of ice-cream but didn't specify level or heaping so being the generous person I am, I was  always charitable), the all meat diet (no fiber), the no meat diet (always hungry), the liquid shake diet , the smaller portion diet (this one gave me way too much freedom), the fat free diet, diet apps on my phone, a horrible little fat blocking pill that had embarrassing side effects, and I confess I have even tried the “Breath your way to a thinner you,” diet.

    It seems I’m always trying to conform to a set of rules that leaves me frustrated. It is the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep. I know the importance of being healthy.  I feel the pressure of looking a certain way and I hate how I allow this to make me feel undesirable.  Rejection, whether from my own self-condemning thoughts or the words and actions of others, leaves me feeling inadequate and makes me want to retreat in defeat from daily life.  

   So here I am at fifty-two and still trying to figure this whole thing out. I’m not willing to give up because that means total defeat. I figure if I just keep moving forward, someday I will pass the finish line.

    2 Corinthians 12:9 says, But the Lord said, “My grace is all you need. Only when you are weak can everything be done completely by my power.” (ERV)

This shows he has a plan and doesn't leave me to fend for myself.

   Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

This verse keeps me going with a promise of eventual victory.

   Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

I can do this because of his perfect power. When I feel the urge to just give up, I know it will be through his strength that I will eventually master my frustration.  Knowing he will enable me to be victorious is a real pressure relief; my peace depends on trusting his word.

    What thoughts put you to bed and greet you first thing in the morning? Is it depression, addiction, anger? The list could go on and on.  Changing the way we think by resting and relying on God can change our life forever.

   

Run the race with a smile on your face.

                                                              Getting older

     When I drag myself out of bed in the mornings, I stand in front of the bathroom mirror feeling a little defeated. I look a little more haggard and have a few more wrinkles than I remember. When I open my bathroom cabinet I am disturbed at what I see inside. Anti- wrinkle, youth serum, firming creams, stuff to plump things up and formulas to reduce the obvious, I take great care not to get these two products mixed up.

My clothes drawers are full of items that lift things up, flatten things out and slim me down. Control seems to be the main theme of my closet and gravity is one of my worst enemies.

I look at the youth around me and sometimes I feel like I just don’t fit in. I loved raising my babies and taking care of my home, but now all my babies are grown, and it’s easy to feel like I’m just here, filling space and time.

Getting older can sometimes make us feel like our purpose has run out. Maybe we think that the plan God has for us is no longer relevant. These are the times I remind myself of my importance to God and those around me. I give my disposition a little facelift, my attitude gets a little nip and tuck.

This may require putting down my insecurities and not worrying about what others think. This means I have to get involved.

If I choose to be happy, If I decide my gray hair is actually a silver lining and my wrinkles are really laugh lines, I will enjoy the path set before me more. Knowing that I still have a place in this forever changing world, I will be content with the life God planned for me and live it with satisfaction and joy. 

Isaiah 46:4

Even to your old age and gray hair I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. (NIV)

Separation Anxiety

Separation Anxiety

    "Cheese and Crackers!" The words echoed off my walls as I yelled them in frustration. Self control was fleeting as I kept myself from throwing the screwdriver across the room and giving up completely.

    I had decided to help my husband out by installing the new door knob myself, how hard could it possibly be, right? The included instructions were apparently written by someone with super power eyes and the knack to discourage even the most enthusiastic learner. I went to the internet and looked up a few how-to videos starting with the three minute version. I was assured that the task would only take about five minutes and all I needed was a screw driver. 

    About five minutes into the change over and no where near done, I realized I had removed the knob while the door was closed. If you have ever changed a door knob you are probably shaking your head right about now. Here was my first lesson; the door must be open because if you remove the inside door knob while it is closed how will you get the door open to remove the outside door knob? 

    With pliers in hand, I opened the door and successfully removed the rest of the knob. Lesson two came when I realized it is possible to install some parts upside down, don't tighten the screws all the way so you can easily take it all apart and start all over again. 

    After taking a break and watching the eight and fifteen minute versions for this five minute task I started again. When I was finally finished my victory dance was short lived when the handle thingy wouldn't latch to the door hole thingy and I could pull it open without turning the handle. In case your wondering this is exactly how I explained it to my husband when I called him for any advice he could offer.

    Next step, remove the new knob, replace it with the old! The "cheese and crackers" came ten minutes later when I dropped the screw on the ground again for the sixth time! All in all my five minute task took about forty five minutes and led me to a frustration level that mirrored an angry five year old. 

    This is a great example of life; our intentions are good, we use the right tools, but the process takes too long, gets all messy, then we end up back at step one feeling defeated.
    In Philippians chapter three Paul encourages believers not to give up, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (vs. 13,14)

    If  life was always easy and without mess-ups we wouldn't need to forget and press on. My whole reasoning for installing the knob was not because I had any desire to learn about knobs, but I did have a great desire to show my husband I love him and wanted to please him. Even though I was unsuccessful in my attempts he still loves me.  He would never reject me because of my failure and if I let him he would show me how to do it correctly. 

   Romans 8:35 asks, "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?" Verse 37 gives us the answer we all desire; "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." How are we conquerors if we are naked, in trouble or danger? It's all in how our father sees us.
    Verses thirty eight and thirty nine give a long list of adversaries that try to knock us off our feet, most times they are successful. 

   We will fail and giving up may seem like the only option but one thing we can count on beyond any doubt is that God will always be there for us. He is lovingly tenacious in his pursuit for us and refuses to allow anything to separate us from him. He will always love us and see us as victorious even when we are in the midst of frustration and failure.

    

  

Foot in the Door

It Starts With a Lie.

    It’s been thirty years and I still feel like a sucker. One month after our first daughter was born I received a phone call. “Good afternoon Mrs. Lovenburg we would like to congratulate you on your winnings!” I had never won anything before except a large bottle of Elmer’s glue from the local hardware store so I was very excited.

    As the voice on the phone gave me my prize options I wondered when it was that I actually entered this contest. Having to choose between fifty dollars of groceries or a free carpet cleaning all it took was a quick glance at our dirty, avocado green carpet to choose the cleaning.

    The appointment was set for that night around five because the cleaning tech was only in town for the one day. It wasn't the most convenient time for me but I would not pass up an opportunity to have my carpets cleaned for free. It went downhill from there, he showed up at my front door two hours late and as I watched him remove his brand-new vacuum I knew we had been duped. 

    Yes, he was a vacuum salesman and he spent the next four hours trying his best to convince us of the inadequacies of our vacuum and questioned our parenting skills for not knowing the importance of a spotless floor when it comes to our precious little girl. 

   This is the girl that loved to eat crayons, ate gum from an ashtray, peeled and chewed gum from the bottom of a coliseum seat and licked a slug at Jr. High camp. Had we known she would be so unselective in her food choices we wouldn't have bothered.

    After four hours of convincing we bought the overpriced, fifty pound beast and waited until midnight for him to finish the carpet cleaning. Later we found out the salesman lived right around the corner from us, boy did I feel like a fool. I seriously wanted to knock on his front door and shake the snot out of him for deceiving us!

    Now that I am older and more informed I recognize deception more easily. I have learned to question motives and compare things with the truths I have learned over the years.

    Revelation 12:10, 11 calls the devil an accuser, he is very skilled at making us feel inadequate. If we give him that -foot in the door- opportunity he will surely do his best to make us feel like failures and rob us blind. I am so thankful that God no longer listens to those accusations and he sees me through the blood of Jesus, as his precious daughter.         We have the means of victory and it is through the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. The blood was provided for us, our testimony is that spoken word that puts the liar in his place and propels us on to a better life.

    It would have been far better had I just turned that salesman away at the door. The word has made it easier for me to recognize his lies and refuse to listen when he comes knocking at my heart’s door.

    Revelation 12:10, 11 Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.”

Nashville in July

Southern experience

Nashville in July is HOT! My best friend and I flew to Nashville for a conference. We were both so excited because we had never been to Tennessee before. We were having a great time doing a little sight seeing. We walked down the main strip and it was HOT! We took a bus that that gave us a tour of the town and it was HOT! We walked to the Grand OL Opry, sat in tiny little bench chairs in the nose bleed section and I was HOT! 

   On our last day of shopping we hopped on a bus and headed back to the hotel. We were tired, sweaty and our make up no longer graced our face but gently ran down our necks in beige and pink beads of sweat. Before we knew it, the driver stopped and picked up a man that was visibly drunk.  The man followed us where ever we went on the bus so we finally sat in the front few rows near the driver.

    I could keep an eye on that man by watching his reflection in the glass windows of the buildings we passed. As we drove farther, we passed by a big brick building with no windows, when we came to the next window I noticed he was gone! I turned to ask my friend where he went and there he was, in the seat right next to me, beer breath and all! 

    How he moved that fast or that quiet I don’t know but my reaction surprised even me. I yelled and gave the man a quick shove, which landed him on the floor of the bus. When I buzzed for the driver to stop the bus he acted like he had no idea what was going on so we walked the rest of the way in the heat. 

     Life can give some pretty scary surprises sometimes but God is our always present help in times of trouble. I am thankful that God was watching out for me. I will put my trust in my Lord I know He is my helper.

Psalms 118:6, 7 says, “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The Lord is with me; he is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies.”