A little spackle, a little paint, a whole lot of understanding.

Remodel Madness

   “If you didn’t want my opinion then why did you ask?” My question was laced with a bit of sarcasm as my husband and I stood staring at each other.  Deciding on cabinet door sizes should be easy.  I am the one using the cabinets so I know what size I want. The frustration level escalated as I saw his facial expression turn to red alert.

   I knew where I took a wrong turn. After thirty three years of marriage and hundreds of building projects you would think I would know better. You see, I am well practiced at the art of interruption. I know that in my husband’s process of creativity he will include a few extra options so we are on the same page.  This is where I get bored and jump right in to speed things up a bit; less is more in my mish mash book of life.

   When asked where I would like an outlet placed I would tell him wherever he wants to put it, I will simply walk over to it when I want to use it, simple right? Regrettably I later realized that there is a convenience factor when it comes to placement.

   Learning to get along has been a well practiced but not always successful journey. We are pretty opposite when it comes to just about everything. I like bright bold colorful walls, he likes white, I am contemporary/modern design, and he is conventional / conservative. Two things we have learned over the years are patience and the art of compromise.

   Colossians 3:12, 13 says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord gave you.”

   This verse is a perfect example for a marriage “How To” manual. We could call it “Seven Self-Help Directives to Constructing a Healthy Marriage.” I just call it “The quick reminder verse I go to so I don’t rip your head off while we are having this conversation.”

   When I clothe myself with something that means I have chosen to wear it. I choose kindness, patience, gentleness and compassion when I decide that he and his opinions are just as valuable as mine. A simple thing like just shutting my mouth and letting him finish lets him know I care about what he has to say. This has really helped to get us where we are today. It’s simply practicing love.

   Is there something in your marriage or other relationships that needs a little construction work? We all have the tools to make things better we just have to decide to use them. The help that always seals the deal for me is the last part of that verse, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” God is always patient, gentle, forgiving and compassionate with me, who am I not to use the example of the master builder?